Plumbing the depths of the teenage mind

Disclaimer: The following information may not be suitable for mature adults.

After extended research and scholarly collaboration, I have concluded [with unmistakable certainty] that the teenage brain is a vast expanse of otherworldly minutia brimming with interconnected synapses that fire with pinpoint irregularity. My primary environ for this study was the dwelling used by typical teenagers to prepare their bodies for an average day. In my former life, this was most commonly referred to as a “bathroom.” Recently, however, I have been informed that this area is technically a “washroom.”

Consider the following washroom findings…

A casual glance at the image above would lead a novice inspector to conclude very little, except perhaps that a porcelain toilet makes an odd photographic subject.

A closer look, however, reveals a displaced mass [pink in color] on the upper-left rim of the aforementioned stool.

Using sophisticated image-enhancing technology, further investigation revealed the gooey mass to be a piece of gum typically chewed with vigor by contemporary teens [locate a nearby grazing Secretariat for further study]. I am still seeking answers concerning the following:

1] Who among Meagan, Rachel, and Taylor [all classified as “teenagers with generally functioning brains”] is/are the primary culprit[s] and who qualifies merely as an accomplice…

2] If and why the gum was placed on the upper-left rim of the commode for future use…

The above photo was taken in a “bathroom” in Texas most regularly occupied by two youngsters commonly known as Alexander and Parker Bagg. I located this in my search for something to whiten my teeth and stave off morning halitosis, something the Bagg boys clearly are not intimidated by. While many answers concerning this discovery still remain, it did help me understand why defending Alexander on a basketball court in an aggressive man-to-man style is so disturbing. [Note: the odor emanating from Alexander’s mouth does not in any way hinder my ability to SCHOOL HIM in a pick-up game of 1-on-1 or 1-on-2 with his pal Reagan!]

More research and results forthcoming as the lovely teenagers highlighted here [and their brains!] develop…


2 thoughts on “Plumbing the depths of the teenage mind

  1. After recently spending a few days with Meagan, I would have to conclude that she was chewing gum when she got in the shower. Since she brushes her teeth while showering (?) she needed a place to put her gum and the toilet appeared to be just the place! This is merely my hypothesis!

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